Stick-shift Aficionado T-Shirts

"Benilda could never drive a stick!"

Award Winning Gardener

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

DIY horror.

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Screw plastic surgeon.

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

"I think I need an eye check: I almost got fooled by a lure yesterday..."

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

Buddhist Center

'If you're wondering why you're still in first gear, that was me you just shifted into third.'

Ned and Phylis think back to the days when they didn't have much money and they were poorly drawn.

'No, we're owned by a non profit poundation.'

Mechanics price list.

"Please hurry with the bookshelves, these things are heavy."

This is where you'll be working...don't worry if it's confusing.

'Here's where you'll work! I know it's confusing, however we will have paid training for you.'

Vlad The Impaler's Descendants,

"All you are is a pedal and a cable which helps me change gear. One day, you'll break and be useless."

'Do you ever get the feeling that these so called 'stick people' have stolen our identity?'

'You can't go wrong. The Futura is a Japanese car made in America, and the Silvette is an American car made in Japan.'

'Hi, honey... I'm Ohm!'

Restraining order

'Come on Ted, you've been doing this class for 3 years now, it's time you progressed beyond the 'stick' movement...!'

"This looked so much bigger at the store..."

'Don't chase it - You don't know where it's been.'

"Call that a hammer?"

The Master Switch

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

'Uh oh. I measured the drywall in feet, but you measured it in metric.'