Steroid Skeptic Pillows

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Too much Omega 3.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I totally meant to do that."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

Therapy Group For Those Who Are Afraid of Therapy Groups

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Documentation Please

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."