Steroid Satire Pillows

'How did the public know about our positive drug tests?'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Govt. UK led by Seance

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

Taken genetic engineering too far

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

"We Tell No One"