Steroid Satire Gifts

'How did the public know about our positive drug tests?'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Doctor. I am speechless"

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Govt. UK led by Seance

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

Taken genetic engineering too far

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

Working On Silly String Theory.

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

"We Tell No One"

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

No caption. (A fish crawls out of a fish bowl at the end of a line of animals showing the progression of evolution).