Stern Visage Expert T-Shirts

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

“He runs the top Virtual Reality company in the world. In fact, that’s not really him.”

"The STEM program has many advantages: you can invent stuff, you can use great equipment...but let's talk about the great cafeteria food."

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

Bird watching in Bolivia

"After practicing dermatology every day, maybe you should try branching out from those warts-and-all biographies."

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

"You know that theory....that we're all part of a giant computer program?..."

'I wonder if they KNOW about each other?'

Plastic Surgeon Kid

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

"No really, I'm a toad too! I found a great dermatologist who treated my warts..."

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

Eye clinic

"You have tiny websites burned onto your retinas!"

"I was at a party and got some avocado dip in my eye..."

"Long time no see."

Fly Eye Chart

Virtual reality platform.

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'

Myopic Guy with Gun Collection

Guide dog reading paper over a man's shoulder.