Stereo Sound Savant Gifts

'And if you're listening to this ladies tennis match in digital stereo the grunt from your left is from Serena Williams and from the right is...'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Felix Mendelssohn

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Sir Edward Elgar

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

The Music Lover.

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

Man chasing microphone.

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

Computer grabs man and tells him to stop it.

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

Anton Bruckner.

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

Sergei Prokofiev.

Artist paints UNDO icon onto canvas.

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

Benjamin Britten

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7.'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

Ludwig van Beethoven

''Solar energy'? -- like I don't do enough for the little twerps already!'

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

"Frankly, I think they've been completely obnoxious ever since they went solar."