Stealth Snacker Gifts

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Honest Vending

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"Works every time."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Student Food Pyramid

Breakfast surreal.

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

"Don't tell coach about this- he doesn't want us to be friends."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

"It's a map to the vending machines."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"You complete me."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Well, O.K., so you found fast food, but what's the hurry?

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."