Snack Sneaky Gifts

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Secretive Weigh In.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"Quick swig first?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"Works every time."

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Student Food Pyramid

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Beer? Wassat then?'

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"It's a map to the vending machines."

"You complete me."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer