Steak Stickler Gifts

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"And how would you like your steak?"

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Cow Gag Gifts

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

'The Big Beg Theory'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."