Steak Gifts

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

"Too rare, perhaps?"

'When you said we were going for a stake-out Sarge...'

'I'm a situational vegan. If someone else is paying it's an eight ounce kobi steak for me.'

Cooked rare.

'I need a prescription for a steak.'

Elevator button for bar & grill.

'How did you find your steak, sir?'

Joe's Natural Foods...steak 'n' tators.

'Hi, I'll have a steak with hay, please.'

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

"Veal or non-veal?"

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'