Status Symbol Joker Gifts

Identifying Scientists by their Lab Coats.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'How about a game of cards?'

Get crazy once in a while

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"I'll cut to the chase, Wiggins. I'm hearing rumors that you have a bigger chair than me."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"I never thought I'd get married again."

Toilet humour

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"Your Amex rare earth elements card, that will do nicely sir!"

A clown & his clone.

'A room with double beds, please.'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'