Statistical Analyst Gifts

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

'We've got the statistical analysis back...93% of the people who returned the survey thought it was 100% waste of time.'

"Let me through - I'm a data analyst!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

British savings accounts

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

The Anti-Agent

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks