Statistic Analyst Gifts

"I'd like 13,983,816 lottery tickets please..."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Anti-Agent

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

British savings accounts

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Fear/Knowledge

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Morning, all!"

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

The Life of Pi

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Lethal Presentation