Stationary Enthusiast Gifts

My dearest Victoria, This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write...

'Who's been cutting their nails again?'

"What if I run out of sticky notes to remind myself to get more sticky notes???"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Pelobong

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"You make a great point."

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Well done. One of the straightest paper clips I've seen."

"We put him in the field but it didn't help."

Speed Checked By Radar.

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

Stationary mountain bike.

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Regale me with more tales of the outside world."

Tortoise Mailman.

"Are these suspension files?"

'Individuality - That's what counts in this game.'

"I've always worked from home."