Slow But Steady Enthusiast Gifts

Tortoise Mailman.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'I'll do half of it.'

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Snail Display Today

Speed Checked By Radar.

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

A tortoise

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Sign outside tortoise shell: 'Out to lunch'.

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

This is a library - no sonic booms, please.

"What if I run out of sticky notes to remind myself to get more sticky notes???"

"I've always worked from home."

She went as far as she could to get away from the paperwork.

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"Mr. Green and I should be there in about 2 hours!"

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

Tortoise: I've been fired from the Marching Band: I couldn't keep up...

Tortoise Football Fan

"It's those creative types you ought to be checking on."

'Nicholson is stressed out from teaching stress management classes!'

'On your mark...'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."