Stationary Enthusiast Pillows

My dearest Victoria, This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write...

'Who's been cutting their nails again?'

"What if I run out of sticky notes to remind myself to get more sticky notes???"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

Pelobong

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"You make a great point."

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Well done. One of the straightest paper clips I've seen."

"We put him in the field but it didn't help."

Speed Checked By Radar.

Stationary mountain bike.

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

My Dad rides it but it doesn't go anywhere. It's sort of a metaphor for his existence.

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

Tortoise Mailman.

"Regale me with more tales of the outside world."

'Individuality - That's what counts in this game.'