Stationary Collector Pillows

"Well done. One of the straightest paper clips I've seen."

"You make a great point."

"Are these suspension files?"

'C'mon get it straight.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

The Pencil and Sharpener

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'How old is this vase?'

'Big advantage!!'

Jazz Bagpipes

'I love the Giant's Causeway.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

People, we need to push the envelope, and the paper, pens and all the other stationery.

Paper Work

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'