Stationary Collector Gifts

"Well done. One of the straightest paper clips I've seen."

"You make a great point."

"Are these suspension files?"

'C'mon get it straight.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

The Pencil and Sharpener

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Biro Diversity

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

"I don't think my parents have a lot of confidence in me."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

"It's PENCILvania!!!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

'How old is this vase?'

'Big advantage!!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Paper Work

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'