Manual Collector Gifts

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

Early Battering Rams

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Six jazz instruments.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'God's speed.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."