Metal Collector Gifts

Strategic metals vs. non-strategic metals.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Bribes for Jabs

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"I wonder what this was for."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."