Machine Collector Gifts

Automatic conscience clearer

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Do you buy cars here?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'God's speed.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Used wheels

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Acme Flyswatters.

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."