Startup Junkie Gifts

'You don't get an office.. you get a backpack.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Robot Parts $5

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Siri, find oxygen."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

"It's the new self-driving model."

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

'Wow, my own desk!'

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."