Startup Junkie Gifts

'You don't get an office.. you get a backpack.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Robot Parts $5

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Siri, find oxygen."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'Leadership training.'

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"It's the new self-driving model."

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

'Wow, my own desk!'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"