Startup Founder Gifts

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'Since we're a startup, we were hoping you would pay us to work here.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury."

'How do you feel about working for a start up?'

'I've hit on a way to finance our start-up costs.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Chasing the one big idea

"You know, I just realized what's so great about money - there's no need to monetize it."

'Have we thought this thing through?'

"I've simplified our work process!"

'Obviously, for Ben's proposal to really take off, he'll need a longer runway than our little company can provide!'

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

'Crowdsourcing didn't work for my project, so I thought I'd try crowsourcing instead.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'My startup could really use a pioneer type like you.'

Torrent of venture capital.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"Did you know that one-third of all business start-ups were launched by moonlighters working on another company's time?"

I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

"I forget, does our company make money yet?"

"We've invested too much in this whole thing to just go back to laying around on the rocks all day."

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"I've got this idea for a wake-up call."

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"Welcome to Kickstarter."

"Never mind devices - we need to establish a 'bring your own funding' policy."

"We're still a startup? It's been 26 years."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Crowd-funding's fantastic but the crowd-thanking is a real drag."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"We're a startup. We're looking for someone who can yank this cord."