Tech Startup Founders Gifts

"Even though we're a tech company, we can only provide these walkie-talkies. That's the downside of being a startup."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Welcome to the future"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Can our software do that?'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

US v.s. Tech Giants

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

S.S.dot.com

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

"Never mind devices - we need to establish a 'bring your own funding' policy."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"