Tech Founder Gifts

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Welcome to the future"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Can our software do that?'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

US v.s. Tech Giants

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Cloud Computing.

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"Never mind devices - we need to establish a 'bring your own funding' policy."