Tech Entrepreneur Gifts

"You wear it on your wrist and it hacks - I mean, tracks - all your personal data."

'Quit if you want, Bowman, but the intellectual property stays here.'

We accept only digital currency.

"Bad news- some kid just created an app that creates apps."

The future Bill Gates about to be conceived.

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

Entering silicon valley, speed limit: 110111

"Where do you see yourself in five minutes?"

'Can our software do that?'

Will .com for Food

"I'll have my AI get in touch with your AI."

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

"I work with start-up tech companies that are in the idea stage and help them mature into full-blown concepts!"

'Digital-Age Mirage.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Paid Advertisement

"Pre-silicon Capitalism to see you."

'I'm sorry but we're going to have to replace you with a human.'

The Blackberry

'It has all the facilities of the new i phone but with the added benefit of a retractable corkscrew and bottle opener.'

Musk Musk Musk

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation- they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"No gold - but lot's of silicon."

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

Jim Balsillie orders dessert...

"Little Joey invented the one-click rubout."

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

Tech Giant: You

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"