Business Entrepreneur Gifts

Guru sells mountaintop franchises.

"He's networking again!"

Failed business ventures.

'Please visit our website and tell us about your experience with this sale. You can win a gift card good for a free glass of lemonade.'

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

Post Post Office

Go team!

"Excuse me...but there are hairs in my soup. I think we should be supportive when our friends open a business. But sometimes I wonder...what are they thinking?"

Bend it... like the Beckham's

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Where your mind & battle are los

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Welcome to the future"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'