Aspiring Startup Founder Gifts

"Hey, look at this. After only a month, the idea that we spend the last two years developing has attracted $10 on Kickstarter."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

S.S.dot.com

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

"Never mind devices - we need to establish a 'bring your own funding' policy."

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

The Idea of America.