Starting A Seasonal Job Pillows

"I hear ya. These mall gigs don't pay enough."

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"Finally! An iconic advertising image that represents Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter!"

Shrink's Summer Job

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

Santa advertising for Elvis.

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

"Excuse me, are you hiring for the summer?"

'It's the only line of work I know. I'm a sidewalk Santa Claus during the holiday season.'

Help Wanted

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

Food production

"Seems to start earlier every year."

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

'Play your cards right Kiddo, in 20 years you too can become Boogie Burger management material!'

Pelican Summer Jobs

"Of course, it doesn't pay as much as during the season."

"It's not easy in the gig economy. My buddy and I only have decent jobs once a whole year."