Starting A Seasonal Job Gifts

"I hear ya. These mall gigs don't pay enough."

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"Finally! An iconic advertising image that represents Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter!"

Shrink's Summer Job

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

Help Wanted

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

Food production

'It's the only line of work I know. I'm a sidewalk Santa Claus during the holiday season.'

"Excuse me, are you hiring for the summer?"

"Seems to start earlier every year."

Pelican Summer Jobs

'Play your cards right Kiddo, in 20 years you too can become Boogie Burger management material!'

"Of course, it doesn't pay as much as during the season."

"It's not easy in the gig economy. My buddy and I only have decent jobs once a whole year."

"See you next year guys. . . That's the bastard gig economy for you!"