Seasonal Jobs Gifts

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'Who's the new guy?'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Easter Egg Delivery

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Spring/Summer/Winter

"Finally! An iconic advertising image that represents Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter!"

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

"I must have been frozen -- is this the future?"

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

"Check out this app. It let's you substitute other vegetables for your nose."

"Seems to start earlier every year."

Help Wanted

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

Food production

'It's the only line of work I know. I'm a sidewalk Santa Claus during the holiday season.'

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

"Do you think it's time to switch from the blower to the mower?"