Seasonal Job Hunter Pillows

Santa advertising for Elvis.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

"Finally! An iconic advertising image that represents Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter!"

Shrink's Summer Job

'First snowdrop.'

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

'My goodness, is it fall already, Ms. Smyrka?'

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

'I totally forgot what I was looking for.'

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

Leaves falling on a desert crawling man.

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

"Seems to start earlier every year."

Help Wanted

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

'It's the only line of work I know. I'm a sidewalk Santa Claus during the holiday season.'

Food production

Spring Fever or Side Effects?