Starting A New Training Regimen Gifts

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Yoga for beginners,

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

"Keep goin', Harry. No pain, no gain!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'Great first practice. Tomorrow I'll teach you how to land.'

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'