Trying A New Exercise Routine Gifts

'Welcome to the exercise hotline. To start a very low impact exercise program, press #1250 times.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

This Year's Spa

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Yoga for beginners,

"Keep goin', Harry. No pain, no gain!"

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

Yoga.

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

Exercise Car.

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

Our first day of distance learning started off well.

This abdominal training board you brought...what kind of instructions did it come with...

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'You're taking an aerobics class? -- is there that much air?'

I told you to take the stairs instead of elevators. Taking escalators isn't meeting me halfway. (Published originally on March 27, 2009.)

'This is not what I had in mind when you mentioned the new fitness program.'

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

"All of my muscle groups are small muscle groups."

'Your first lesson is free.'

'Open the doors before they have second thoughts, and scatter.'

Star Jump

Santa struggles to play sports.

"Well, I'll be! Let me call you back—O.K., Steve? Jane Fonda just popped in."