Starfleet Officer At Heart T-Shirts

'As part of the company's spirit of openness, I've decided to tell you all a little about the real me.'

Servicemen.

"You left this on our ship."

The Dubloon Stops Here

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

When laundry ruled the waves.

Sailor in Car.

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

Subwoofer

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

Kamikaze Colour

COWMIKAZES

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

". . . and if I hadn't made that wrong turn at Zlendar-5, I wouldn't have wound up at Happy Harry's and I wouldn't be sitting here with Good Ol' Larry Peterson!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

'Hardy I see no chips!'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Neil Armstrong readies for the moon landing.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Coup thwarting

"International trade"

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

Sub Editor

"Port outbound, starboard home."

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

Sailor's Poker.