Star Signs Fan Gifts

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Football

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Children playing football.

The Goalkeeper

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

"So what do you do for a living?"

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

Football Planet

Boy with soccer spot patch on eye next to pirate.

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

'True - There is no 'I' in team. But there is in 'I don't need my crummy team.'

"Here comes the other team...that's their coach, strength train, game strategist and sports psychologist."

'I don't mind being sent off Sir - but not during the warm-up!'

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

Striker Aims for the Wrong Goal

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

Child plays football with his dog,football eventually squashes his dog

"As one of the best forwarders in the world you can sign any advertising contract you want, but..."

"Forget consumer confidence, what we need is consumer gullibility."

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

The Last Jerseys.

What a team!

Woman taking keys of her husband who has been eaten by a snake.

"Hi. Can Billy play some football?"

Edinson Cavani

'For most people a little jogging after work would be enough, but my husband always has to go overboard!'