Star Sign Joker Pillows

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Jogging Bottoms

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"It was a botched surgery."

Ill next Thursday

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Toilet humour

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

False encouragement.

No infrastructure problem here

Identifying Scientists by their Lab Coats.

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'