Star Of The Show Gifts

'Me me me meeeeeeee...' How singers become self-centered.

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Fishermen

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

Keith Floyd.

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

'Very funny!'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

Larry King

'...And now, stay tuned for 'America's Funniest Presidential Debates'!'

Clive Anderson

The girl who has everything...

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

And now, for a rebuttal.

Nick Offerman

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"Accepting for..."

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

How's my Jiving?