Star Charts Gifts

"You had me at sextile moon."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Soaring Profits

"I love your optimism."

John Venn Speaks...' Just don't include me in an of those diagrams, if you don't mind.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

Graph

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'