Star Chart Enthusiast Gifts

"These antidepressants should help with your natal Saturn-Pluto conjunction."

"You had me at sextile moon."

"Your moon is squaring Saturn, so I can tell you're shy and withdrawn."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economy - USA.

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Business is off the chart.

Soaring Profits

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

The last song before the party exploded.

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Gloat

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'