Chart Aficionado Gifts

"That's what I want to say. See if you can find some statistics to prove it."

Boom. Recession. Depression. Stimulus.

'No wonder we're losing money! --This organizational chart is upside down!'

Evolution explained.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'See honey? You're mistaken. Chart fifty-one clearly shows my love for you today is just as strong as the day we met!'

'Jamison has made a motion that we try to make the squiggly line go up. All those in favor...'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Graph line of energy company drops so low it strikes owner in head like lightning.

Artist, painting graphs.

"I asked you to hang a picture, how much more difficult can you make it?"

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Orchestra.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.