Star Athlete In Training Gifts

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Fuzz - Max smashes his guitar.

Super Student

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

"Are you sure how to use a baitcaster?"

Yo! Emmett Kelly raps! (with ringmaster flash)

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Punk Rock?'

Future Wrestler

“I’m robbing the Sheriff of Nottingham’s coach at ten-thirty. Then yoga at noon. Followed by my bassoon lesson. The baguette is for lunch.”

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

Long-legged clown...

Rock & Roll

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

Musician plugged into amp.

'Let go of the pole!'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'For most people a little jogging after work would be enough, but my husband always has to go overboard!'

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

Gertie's never been the same since she got the cape

Air Guitar, Electric Air Guitar.

"Stephen wants to be a fireman, Emily a doctor, and Matthew plans to take a few years off to find himself."

"There's a big difference between being a method actor and a meth OD'd actor, Burt."

Menace.

'Stop it! Stop it, you two! If you keep fighting about it, then neither one of you will get to be 'coach's bench buddy'...'

Kids playing football

Alice Cooper

"They're meant to be crap, right?"

Course of Training for Rugger Novices