Soccer Star In Training Gifts

"My Y-variable obviously has a value inconsistent with the desired solution."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Kids playing football

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Football Fans

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Football

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fuzz - Max smashes his guitar.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Children playing football.

'I think I've scored.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

The Goalkeeper

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Punk Rock?'

Are you aware...Professional soccer players who fake fouls with pretend injuries are eligible for a soccer oscar!

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

Football player taking the ball home.

A scarecrow goalie