Soccer Star In Training Pillows

"My Y-variable obviously has a value inconsistent with the desired solution."

Kids playing football

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Football Fans

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Football

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

Fuzz - Max smashes his guitar.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'I think I've scored.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

The Goalkeeper

Children playing football.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'Punk Rock?'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Football player taking the ball home.

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

Football heads...

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'