Soccer Star In The Making Pillows

'If Tommy can't play right now, could we use his soccer ball?'

Football Fans

"Sorry son. I'm looking for a left-footed layer."

Football Skills

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Football

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Ball as water-melon.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

Children playing football.

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

The Goalkeeper

'I think I've scored.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Are you aware...Professional soccer players who fake fouls with pretend injuries are eligible for a soccer oscar!

A woman watches football on her computer.

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Cristiano Ronaldo

Soccer coach of the year.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Wilfried Zaha