Soccer Star Seeker Pillows

David Beckham

Football Fans

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Football

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

Children playing football.

The Goalkeeper

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Soccer coach of the year.

Wilfried Zaha

Cristiano Ronaldo

A woman watches football on her computer.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Gareth Bale

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

A scarecrow goalie

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

Lionel Messi

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

Goal

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Professional football.

Boy with soccer spot patch on eye next to pirate.

Football Skills

Football Planet

Footballers - Henrik Larrson

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

'I don't mind being sent off Sir - but not during the warm-up!'

"Here comes the other team...that's their coach, strength train, game strategist and sports psychologist."