Stallion Storyteller Gifts

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work