Stallion Storyteller Pillows

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

Mister Oedipus.

Siegfried Sassoon

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'Thank you for your submission. If we're interested, we'll be in touch.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'