Stalactite Enthusiast Gifts

'Transtalactites!'

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Early Business Planning

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Cat with nine still lives"

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

"Gesundheit!"

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

'Try to become less emotional, Mr Stone!'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Daylight Savings Time comes to Stonehenge.

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

The Still Life Revolts

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

Do you realize, we're posing for Cezanne!

Look Up.

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

Still life?

Ethelred the Unfinished.

Artist's Imagination

Unlucky sculpture.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Ok, first the good news..."

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

The devil makes work for idle hands...

'Anyone want to get together for a still life?'