Mineral Enthusiast Gifts

'Get one of these down, and you won't have to worry about anything.'

"No, you're not too late. Cathy's just beginning to put calcium into perspective."

This salt lick supplies iodide, a necessary nutrient.

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Will you be mine?

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

The first Dermatologist.

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'To tell you the truth, you've ruined the gold market, Mr Midas!'

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

'As you can see, we've been recapitalized.'

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'Try to become less emotional, Mr Stone!'

Mummies for Dummies

Gem & Mineral Show: "This looks promising."

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

The first art critic

"I'm collecting everyday objects for a time capsule."

Daylight Savings Time comes to Stonehenge.

"Let's get to work, there's gold in them there hills."

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Miss Twaddle, cancel all my appointments.

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"Nice!. . . but, mine's more environmentally friendly."